i already hear my dad disowning me
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize