The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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