Soap is not a condiment
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
