Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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