No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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