It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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