I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
