Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
