I didn't shave. On purpose
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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