yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
