Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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