Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize