.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
