I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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