My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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