Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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