I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
