its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
