My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
