He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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