I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize