You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
