Your face is a jimmy john
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
