Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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