I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize