Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
