Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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