I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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