Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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