just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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