Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
