Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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