worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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