I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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