didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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