You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
