Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
