One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Found your dick twin last night
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
