Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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