Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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