Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
