You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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