the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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