im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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