a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
