she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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