I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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