weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
we're making bets on your personal life
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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