I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
