he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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