i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
