Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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