Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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