All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
