if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize