i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
