you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
