He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
