Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
