There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
