I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I am naked and annoyed.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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